THE TRAMO RENO (PT. 1)
Here’s a sentence I never anticipated writing this year:
We’re gutting the entire first floor and basement of our home.
On August 1, 2020 I was gearing-up for my biggest,
busiest and most exciting professional month I’d had all year.
My editorial calendar was filled to the brim with all-things-fall and while I felt (and continue to feel!)
blessed beyond measure to work on these projects, I knew that I would need to perform at the top of my game
in order to meet the dozens of deadlines slated for the month ahead.
And, that, my friends, required I tap into two skills that are decidedly
not my strong-suits: self-discipline and organization. (Looking at you, ADHD!)
Luckily, my husband is crazy-supportive and even though he was busy himself,
Joey spent his afternoons strategizing the best order of operations for
me to follow in order to succeed.
He broke down daily tasks over the course of the month
and we came up with a plan that, if implemented flawlessly,
would ensure I complete every assignment on time.
The one variable he didn’t consider with this master plan was
the unyielding shit-storm from hell that was and continues to be
year 2020.
And, you know what they say about best-laid plans, right?
AUGUST 5, 2020 ||
It was around 11:30 AM when I first spotted a small water spot on our living room floor.
We were heading out the door to take Theodore on a quick, late-morning walk
and I kneeled down on our living room rug to throw on my tennis shoes.
As I looped my laces, I noticed a small, saturated water spot on our tile floors.
My first thought?
”Ugh, standard Ellie behavior:
playing in her water bowl again.
Our sloppy-sweet girl.”
But, then, I saw another water spot.
Followed by another.
And one more.
Until, finally, my eyes landed on a gaping, water-ridden hole in the wall at the base of our built-in bookcase.
By 11:35 we discovered the source of the leak was coming from the soffit directly above the bookcase
and by 12 o’clock? I had a sinking feeling that our beloved bookcase would need to be ripped
out in order to repair whatever damage it happening behind the walls.
2 HRS LATER
Our home warranty company sends out a plumber/contractor to assess the damage.
Said plumber rips out the bookcase and finds that there is still a very active leak.
Once he sees that, he immediately calls in an environmental engineer and mitigation team to the scene to ensure that the home is structurally sound.
The mitigation team and engineer discover that the leak has not only permeated the walls and ceiling of the great room
but has caused damage to the floor, ceiling and walls of the basement below. Even better?
They found active mold growing behind the bookcase which is very, very dangerous.
The biggest discovery, though?
Our plumber rips open the soffit above the bookcase to check out the pipes
and is at a loss for words (which, trust me, is very much out of character for him)
when he sees what our home is equipped with:
POLYBUTYLENE PLUMBING.
WHAT’S POLYBUTYLENE?
Polybutylene pipes were the go-to for homes in neighborhood developments and mobile homes(!) between the years 1978-1995
because of the low cost of materials, *assumed* longevity and ease of installation.
So, what’s the problem?
The developers of polybutylene pipes were off the mark. Big time.
Polybutylene pipes have a 100% failure rate and corrode from the inside out after 10-15 years of use.
Insurance companies are known to blacklist home owners who have polybutylene plumbing because of
the inevitable damage the plumbing will cause on the property.
Poly is so destructive, in fact, that by the mid 1990’s there was a BILLION dollar lawsuit against the
manufacturers of the pipes for their destruction of property. YEP, BILLION.
Now, you may be asking “Why didn’t you have a home inspection prior to purchasing the home?”
WE DID. We paid the inspector no less than $500 bucks to give us the skinny on this home prior to purchasing it.
And what did the inspector say about these pipes?
“You have polybutylene plumbing. They have a higher failure rate than copper pipes so you may want to replace them down the road”
… Oh, OKAY! What a valuable and specific bit ‘o knowledge to have on hand before spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on a home?
If you are not an expert in plumbing or haven’t dealt with the hell of polybutylene plumbing before,
you would take this at face value because nothing the inspector said painted a picture of inevitable doom, right?
What he should have said was,
“You have polybutylene pipes. These are actually banned in the United States because of their 100% failure rate
and are most often found in mobile homes and low budget construction during the 1980s. This is a red flag and
you should call a plumber and find out more about this before purchasing this property.”
But, alas, he did not.
And we’re dealing with it.